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High School: Initial Thoughts

I haven't been blogging for like 2 months. And I apologise for that (even though I'm not quite sure whether I have any loyal readers out there). But anyway, let me update you about my current situation. So I graduated from middle school or junior high school or whatever (which is a good thing) and I graduated with relatively great grades (which is a very good). I then applied for the best high school in Yogyakarta (in terms of passing grade) and I eventually made it. I am incredibly grateful for that series of very fortunate events. But I can't help but feel a bit nervous and scared of what's to come.

 Now I don't know how big of a fish I am. But what I know is that I chose to be in the big pond and I currently am in the big pond. Not only that, but I'm also in this pond with loads of other fishes. None of them seems to be friendly. There are threats that I might not perform well or that I might look like a complete idiot just because I chose to be among the geniuses. And I can't help but wonder, should I have taken the "Big Fish Little Pond Effect" into consideration? Should I have applied for a slightly lower school in terms of passing grade?

 Well the answer is, maybe. Because theoretically I should be able to perform better in a smaller pond with smaller fishes. But is it worth it? The little pond is a very safe place but it definitely has less potential than the bigger pond. There is a chance that I might struggle to perform in the big pond but because of the fact that is has more potentials, there is also a chance that I might be able to make progress along the way so that I might be able to be a better fish. Maybe that idea is worth keeping in mind.

 I have absolutely no idea as to how the future might unfold. I also don't have any idea as to whether the events of the past happened due to extreme luckiness or not and whether I'm supposed to be where I am now. What I know is that in a field that is so competitive, I have to keep on reminding myself that if I make it through the challenges, then I might be able to emerge as a better human being all together. I have to keep on reminding myself the reason why I started. That is an idea that's worth holding onto. For me, that is an idea worth fighting for.
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