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Fear & The National Finals

Fear. That thrilling sensation triggered by your brain that goes down your spine and from there, it swarms every centimetre cubic and square of your flesh and skin. That unsettling feeling translated into a consistently rapid heartbeat. It's one of those set of letters that you definitely don't want engraved in your mind. It's that thing that you don't want infecting your thoughts and ideas. It is the very embodiment of "not good".

And those words above are probably an exaggeration. But let's be honest, some of it is definitely true and worth nodding your head towards.

Whilst I am writing this blog, I am feeling fear. It has little to do with the blogpost itself. But it has everything to do with the Junior High School's national finals that is to be conducted on Monday, nationwide throughout the whole Indonesian archipelago. And you might wonder, what's so frightening about an exam? I mean, towards a certain extent, and to some people, it is slightly frightening. But describing it with the words that I've typed in the first paragraph is definitely overkill. Well, is it?

These so called exams are actually very important for each and every living soul that is still studying at school (especially public school). Okay, well first, allow me to confide that I do not actually know how the education system works in other countries out there. But I'm pretty sure that most countries out there don't follow our ways (or at least some). I don't even know if I have the right to explicitly say "our ways" because we might as well follow another country's education system. But whatever, here goes.
So the result of this exam will not decide whether a student graduates from Junior High School or not. However it will be used to apply to a Senior High School. The quality of your SHS depends on the results of your exam. And here in my city the quality range of SHSs vary from the really good schools to the really shitty ones. So all in all, you have to absolutely make sure that you do not get the latter.

And for that reason, I am terrified. But here's the hard part. In the middle of the fear that I'm currently experiencing, I have to be able to stay positive and motivated because apparently that's the right way to go according to society. You have to throw away our fear out the window and start being positive. Well I disagree and agree with that. I agree that you have to stay positive in these situations. But to attempt to erase your fear completely? Do you really think that's a good idea?

First of all, I don't even think that's possible. In attempting to eradicate your fear, you would just end up alerting and re-alerting your brain on it's presence. Secondly, why throw it away when you can actually use it? I see fear as something disastrous and something beneficial at the same time. It's just like Uranium if you think of it in this sense. You can use it to motivate yourself, to remind you of how close the task is and how consequential it could be if you mess up. It's a natural wake up call that's embedded in our brains since the first of our very creation. And hopefully, by being aware of its presence and its potential (and whilst still being aware of its consequence), we can use it to keep everything on track.

So if you fear something, be grateful for it. Embrace it, enjoy the thrill that it gives. But after you're done acknowledging its presence, act upon it. Plan your moves ahead, stop playing around, and get on doing the thing that you're supposed to be doing.

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